Eve
The Bible tells us all about how God instructed Adam and Eve that all was theirs in the Garden with the exception of the forbidden fruit. Satan came in the form of a snake to tempt Eve with this fruit, she ate it and we were all doomed to be sinners from that day forward.
Now, I am not debating these facts, but I think I might have some insight into Eve's mind. I think she and I had something more in common other than gender or that we both look good in green. ADHD.
Let's think about this...what if, maybe, Eve never heard God's instructions? Eve could have been focusing on the fact that Adam had nipples and she was pondering what good his nipples did him as he was a male creature and male creatures don't lactate. I know that would have distracted me from even the most important speech. Just the other day my boss came over and talked to me for about 10 minutes and all I heard was him saying at the end "that's really important, okay? Can you do that for me?" That was an 'oh, crap' moment.
So maybe Eve was with God when he said, it's all yours and then she caught a glimpse of nipplage (because they were unclothed) and she was distracted when God said except....then refocused where He was reiterating how much He loved them and to enjoy themselves. Then when Satan came along and was all trying to tempt her, she didn't understand why he was talking all slowly and like he was trying to be manipulative, because what's the big deal? God said it was all ours! I would totally understand that and forgive Eve for that distraction-I mean, really, what are male's nipples for anyway? Symmetry?
Really, it all kind of makes sense now. Eve wasn't disobedient! ADHD is inherited, and besides, we were created in His image. God could have created the useless male nipple in a moment of total distraction. Saturn is a beautiful planet, after all. So, God, can we have our innocence back? j/k. Forgive me. No, really. Please?
ROFL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I belly laughed through the whole thing! Hilarious Candice :)
ReplyDeleteNow try to imagine a non-nippled, hairless chested man. Talk about distracting! I'd rather see a toe without a toenail.Wait...no I wouldn't! Those toenails have to be there, with a nice polish or possibly a French pedicure (damn French, with their "oui, oui" and mustaches, and don't get me started on the men!). Can't we just love one another and kill all the snakes?
ReplyDeletehmmm do you think that maybe because she is a female and they dont listen to men in the first place thats why she ate it and plus... women think the world is theirs in the first place and she was like " i dont need a man to tell me what to do" lol
ReplyDeleteBut you did have a good point ?? i guess
Dude, I totally zone out too, and I know I miss really important things because people look at you like they just aske dyou something really important and you're all, "Do what now, I didn't hear you..." and they're all, "Yeah you did, you nodded the whole time!" and all I can think of is, "Yeah, I nodded off!" Eve totally needed some meds, and it's all His fault for making us in His image. j/k but really, why make us with so many faults? Is the level of perfection we expect really as high as we think it is? Afterall, He did give Rosie O'Donnell (sp?) two misshapen boobs (ask Family Guy)!
ReplyDelete(All this is said tongue in cheeck, so no one get your panties in a bunch!) ;-)