The Trolls are gonna Get You to the tune of Michael Jackson's Wanna Be Startin' Somethin'

I have little life rules that, if violated, creates a physical reaction in my body. For instance, if someone's eyebrows are a little 'fuzzy' or out of place, I have to smooth mine out. If my eyebrows are rubbed against the grain, I have to smooth them out precisely 10 times until my brain is satisfied with the smoothness. In fact, I just had to smooth my eyebrows out now just because I over thought this... If I cannot fix the fuzzy eyebrow, I cannot and will not focus on anything but eyebrow hairs gone wild until they have been properly groomed. I may pretend that I am ignoring it, but it is all I think, see, taste, smell, and feel (it disturbs all of my senses) until it is smooth and perfect again.

I have way too many of these types of issues to discuss... weird little things. However, one of my greatest weaknesses is grates. YES. Grates. The usually metal, sometimes heavy duty plastic shields used to cover a large hole in the ground. They completely freak me out. I will NOT walk on them. Ever. If you see me on the street and decide it would be funny to push me onto one, beware because I will risk my life and yours (and any old ladies or babies in the way) to avoid the grate.

DON'T DO THIS

I warned you

I like to imagine that there are living troll dolls under the grates. They are super ugly and have really colorful hair and love Michael Jackson. Sometimes they all huddle together and work out the choreography to 'Thriller' to entertain the 'butterflies' (see I hate Wall-e) and rats. This was harder when they suffered from the medical condition of sirenomelia (mermaid syndrome) and their arms were stuck to the sides of their bodies, but ever since they discovered that plastic surgeon they are free to move and have incredibly perky boobs. After they get knee implants they will be able to add the moonwalk, ballet, and hip hop to their routines as well.

They argued over who got to be in front for the Thriller performance

Added 'Perk' of having plastic surgery

Anthony decided to show me how 'ridiculous' I was by acting exaggerative and dramatically stepping on one of those water meter grates in the sidewalk. He was all like, "LOOK AT ME! I'M STEPPING ON A GRATE, CANDICE!! HAHAHAHA" I decided to ignore him and not look until I heard, "oh shoot...^^nervous laughter^^...um.." I looked over and the grate cover had collapsed into the hole and his foot was STUCK in the hole. *When the grate was uncovered I could faintly hear MJ's 'Bad' in the background. Anthony undoubtedly almost lost his foot that day. Good thing I was there to gloat..oh.. and pull him out.

Amputation of foot imminent

Who's ridiculous now, Anthony? Who's ridiculous now?